September 2005
Breathe.
It’s been about an hour now. It seems more like a year. It seems more like ten years. It’s not the kind of thing you’d soon forget even in an eternity. It’s just something you learn to live with. His arms may not be around you anymore, and you may not hear his voice like you used to. But you are still there. You are still alive. Your life is still your own. It’s just… he isn’t in it anymore.
Breathe.
I still have to remember to when I see him. I’m afraid to move because I don’t want the moment to change. And when I finally muster the courage to take a breath, he steals it all away with his gentle kiss. And all I want is to pull him closer…
Breathe.
You made a mistake. My heart is broken. But I will not leave your side.
Breathe.
I feel empty. I hate myself. I’m alone and it’s my fault. I don’t want this life, this face, this body…
Breathe.
Shallow. I can’t take it anymore. This black hole inside will swallow me up till I can’t get back. I can’t…
Silence
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