Loneliness

May 19, 2008

She awakes from her world of dreams again. Cold reality greets her, taunting her with whispers that she will never touch the realm of impossibilities like she can when she’s asleep. She breathes. Another day.

She lies still, tracing circles around her navel with her fingertips and thinking empty thoughts. She is not one of those girls who can trust her own heart; it has led her wrong far too many times. But sometimes she allows herself to explore the possibility of her dreams coming true. She imagines peace. She imagines love. She sees herself holding tightly to his hands; discovering each other deeply. She can almost feel his gaze holding hers, the back of his fingertips caressing her cheek. Her body reacts to the weight of her emotion; her calm disappearing as she heaves deep, painful sobs. What she wouldn’t give for that moment.

She wraps her arms around her knees. As much as it hurts to feel so deeply with so much uncertainty, it’s better than being numb. Someday he will hold her so she doesn’t have to hold herself… but she doesn’t believe it yet. So alone she sits. Alone she remains; and a sea of loneliness envelops her.

But even the sea can’t drown her love.